Endings & Beginnings
"Winter takes away the distractions, the buzz, and presents us with the perfect time to rest and withdraw into a womb like love, bringing fire & light to our hearth...and then, just around the corner the new year will begin again, and like a seed planted deep in the earth, we will all rise with renewed energy once again to dance in the sunlight -Dee Laliberte
2021; another rollercoaster. All years have their highs and lows, but this year has felt like no other. Globally, I wonder if the world will be as before - I have my doubts. Personally, I know my world will never be the same. The passing of my mother has left a void. It would be easy just to focus on the black nothingness, that empty chair... But, as I said previously, I am fortunate in that I have 60 years of love and memories to reflect upon, and it is on those that I am choosing to concentrate. And as those 'firsts' come round; the first Christmas without her, the first birthday without her, the first anniversary...I will have to hang on tight to the memories and the love.
"The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all the lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater."
J.R.R. Tolkien
The art materials are still packed away; to be fair, I am not sure I am in the right frame of mind. There is a certain appeal in withdrawing, retreating, hibernating. A certain appeal in hunkering down, lighting some candles, wrapping myself in blankets...to spend time remembering, but also, to spend time in contemplation. Reflection is natural at the turning of the year; add in the loss of a parent, thoughts of one's own mortality, and that reflection takes on a deeper importance. Even though I have yet to come to any earth-shattering realisations, what I have acknowledged is that I need to take some time; time to mourn, time to feel, time to adjust to my 'new normal' without Mum, time to discover how my life will look after the move... And slowly, hopefully, as the year turns and winter gives way to the light, I will have found my balance, replenished my creative well and be unfurling myself 'into the grace of a new beginning' - (John O' Donohue). Hence the image above:
Snowdrops, a reminder that no matter how long the darkness, hope rises again to dance in the sunlight.This will be my last post of 2021, and as I take a pause, I would just like to say, to all of you who regularly read, like and comment on my posts, to those of you who find a resonance with my ramblings, thank you.
I wish you all a Merry Christmas; I hope it is filled with love and joy!
And for the coming year:
I look forward to 'meeting up' with you all again soon, and to continue on our creative 'journey' together.
Until then, take care,
Cx
If you would like to follow me on my art journey, and see behind the scenes images and works-in-progress please follow me on social media…
Instagram – www.instagram.com/carolynjrobertsartist
Twitter – www.twitter.com/CJRFineArtist
or take a look at my website www.carolynjrobertsartist.co.uk
or, if you can stand even more of my ramblings and musings, arty news, offers and the occasional extra video throw in, please sign up to receive my monthly(ish) newsletter via the link opposite…